Moving on Maybe?
by NCIS Always16
Summary: What happens when everyone thinks Tony is dead? And Tony thinks that the team is moving on perfectly without him? Tiva! Slight crossover with NCIS:LA. My first fanfic so let me know how it is! Disclaimer: I do not own any of the NCIS characters or anything associated with the show
1. For the Team

"God bless it…da…ugh!" Tony muttered and punched his desk. Gibbs was in a meeting in MTAC with the director, and McGee was probably off flirting with Abby down in her lab. _I really should just go grab McGee and make him deal with all this bull crap of a case, I mean he is the Probie! Ziva is more Probie than even Probie, but I could not put her through that…I love her…what was that thought Dinozzo? Rule twelve! Rule twelve! Here comes the head slap from Gibbs because we all know that he knows what I just thought. Huh…_he thought because that slap never did quite come, even though he hoped just maybe it would, and he would get some sense knocked into him. 

"Cool out, Tony!" Ziva responded, her head whipping out from behind her computer to investigate what his issue was.

"First off, it is chill out, and second off, no fricken way Ziva! This dang case is unbearable, I am running on no sleep for the past week, and my computer is broken beyond repair!"

"Whatever." She waved his remark off; it doesn't even faze her anymore. "We are all exhausted, frustrated, and want to go home and sleep. Do you see the rest of us complaining? Just deal with it!" _He really is so cute when he gets fed up with a case. David, what are you talking about? It is Tony for God's sake! Tony! There's no way you could go there! I mean those undercover missions are mighty…stop!_

"No! I am out of here! I need a break, do not follow me, you will not find me." Tony stormed out of the squad room, sped down the stairs and out of the building. But, all he was really thinking was that, if anyone could find him, it would be Ziva, and she will no matter the risks and complications. Ziva watched him run to his car, get in and peel out of the Navy Yard, and only then did she pick up her phone and attempt to call him. Tony was going off the grid, and he got there awfully fast.

_Tony, why do you do this to me? You know that I cannot just sit here and watch you leave everything behind: your team, life, me. If one of us leaves, the other chases them, that is how we work, you know that. Just like when you rescued me in Somalia, in Somalia of all places you still came. Now what do you what me to do? You said not to follow, but you know I will, so which do you want? Do you want everyone to know? Just me? You know sometimes there's no way for me to just pick up and leave, but you know that I will do it just for you, you do right? Do you want me to wait for, or fight for you, I guess I will see. Maybe you will fight back and everything can go back to normal, or maybe you will just keep running, running farther from home. From me. _

"California? No. Florida? Maybe. Texas? Possibly. Where can I go that Ziva will not follow me? She probably already knows my every move. Get a hold of yourself Tony; you are already talking to yourself. You are going to drive yourself nutto, and look at that, you are not using contractions. Just like a certain someone." He sped out of D.C. just trying to get out of that place. That case. Those people. His mind was racing, with memories from his childhood to past times at Baltimore PD, but mostly about _her._

_ "I was just…"_

_ "Having phone sex?" The very first words she ever said to him. He will never forget that moment, not for the rest of his life. She stood there, three feet from his desk, confidence just pouring out of her body, stern as a rock. That's when the lies started. _

"Charades, Dinozzo? Really? You could not have come up with anything better than that? Now look at yourself, speeding down the highway talking to yourself." _McGee's going to track my car, I know it. I have to get out of this thing as soon as possible. Ziva will somehow find me with her crazy ninja skills. God, how I love her ninja skills. Snap out of it Tony!_

He drove for what felt like hours beyond hours then pulled off to a car rental station. Tony took out a couple hundred dollars, and his newest, personal, fake ID that read Matthew D. Longlow, knowing this was the only way of not being traced. At this point he knew that the best thing he could do was get away. For the team. He was no help in the office. Not in his state. 

_ That case. Ziva. His mind flipped between only those two things. How many times have I broken rule ten now…God…Gibbs is going to kill me. Rule ten, eleven and ya know probably twelve here real soon, just add it to the pile! Get a hold of yourself, Tony! You are a Dinozzo, and Dinozzos don't do this! _

His mind fell back to the memory of Ziva coming back from Miami as it does every day and that was the last thing he saw before sleep came over him.

Gibbs walked into the bullpen expecting to see his team working diligently, but it was completely empty. Ding! The elevator slid open and out stepped Ziva, a troubled look on her face. "Zivers, what's wrong?"

"It's Tony, Gibbs. He is gone."

"What the hell do you mean he's gone?" Gibbs said this, not yelling but making sure that Ziva knew it was the big leagues now.

"He left about fifteen minutes ago after complaining about the case. He does not seem to be coming back anytime in the foreseeable future either. I think he has finally gone nuts."

"Call him, now! And get McGee and Abby on it too!"

"What makes you that think I have not already called him?" Gibbs shot her a look that even her Mossad training did not cover, a look that he had never given her before. "I will try again."

McGee sauntered into the room, with his goofy nerd flirty look on his face as always when coming from the lab. "Do not even start with the Abby story, Tim. Tony is gone. He stormed out of here like a bath sheet."

"I think you mean banshee, Ziva. But never mind, that's not important." Tim whipped around to go to his desk and Gibbs had gone to see the director.

"Be quiet, McGee! Tony is missing and there is nothing I can do about it!" Her voice was quivering and he turned around to see that she was devastated and was ready to bawl her eyes out, more emotion than McGee had even seen in her before. She started to suck it up and toughen her look and stormed towards the elevator.


	2. For Me

_Here's a little update for today, I had a bit of writer's block with this one. Should be good from here though! Tell me what you think! From now on the chapters will be changing between the team and Tony. _

_Alright, I admit, it is a bit selfish that I just got up and left. I mean if Ziva feels the same way about me as I do about her, then this has to be killing her! I would go bananas if she was not there, but of course I am sure she is just as cool, calm, and collected as usual. Texas does not seem like as good as an idea as it did before, I have always wanted to learn to ski, and Texas is not the place for that. I'm hitting the road to Colora-aaa-do! There is no way they will see that one coming!_

"Woohoo!" _On my way to live life to the fullest for a little while. But how am I going to do that without the people I love? The girl I love? Her and her ninja ways get me every day more and more, but I can't, I just can't. _

Dinozzo continued on, on the over a day trip to Colorado, blasting the radio at the top notch, and gunning the accelerator. His mind, his heart, his body, no longer yearned for his home, family, and friends back in D.C., but for the slopes in Colorado, where he hoped he would start a brand new life as Matthew D. Longlow.

New life. It suddenly hit him that he may never return to his old, adventure filled, criminal busting life. New people. Tony may never see his dad, but that's not that important to him. His team is the one he's worried about, Ziva, McGee, and Gibbs. He's learned everything he knows about his job from his boss, he's matured, changed and helped him grow through the middle of his life; he loved teasing McGee, of course it is all in good fun and Tony does not know what he would do without the computer geek. But mostly, Ziva. His love, his partner, his better half. For the six years he has known her, he has loved her for every year, month, day, hour, minute, every single second, he has known that she is the one he is meant to be with for the rest of his life.

All of this rushes through his head at a mile a minute, for second he truly believes that if he goes back right now it will all be okay. _But what will that have solved? Nothing really. I will still be working this case, working with the same people in it, the ones I have gotten so attached to. How can I do that? There is no way that going back will actually help my situation. The team can handle it on their own, and I can deal my issues on my own, here, well there, on my own time, my own terms. _

After about twelve total hours on the road, Tony decided he definitely couldn't last any longer without sleep or caffeine. Caf-pow! _Abby! How the hell could I forget about Abby? How am I going to live without her goofy, gothic style, and the way she does her forensics! She has always been there for me whenever I need her, and she helped me calm down when I got fed up with a case. Why didn't I just go to her before I left? She could have solved this, I could have stayed and I would still be back at NCIS in D.C. life would be normal again…_

Tony stopped into a small town that reminded him of the case where they went back to Stillwater and found that Gibbs truly did have a father. He went through his list in his head: _food, caffeine, clothes, new clothes unlike "Tony" to be precise, and toiletries. Sleep. _First thing he decided was sleep, he found a motel, okay, a sketchy motel but it will give him a good nights, well days sleep. He crashed without thinking of home even once more.


	3. For Tony

Sorry for the long wait on an update guys! for the first person that can message me with a little goof with one of the character's thoughts and what rule 3 is, they will get a preview of each chapter before I post it! Hope you like it and review please!

Ziva scrunched down in the corner of the elevator and tried her hardest to blink away the tears that came from her missing partner and the man she loved. _I just do not understand how he could just stand up and leave without saying as much as when he would be back. I know I am not yet used to all of the U.S. customs but I could have sworn that according to the language of love, which I am fluent in, that he fell for me just like I fell for him! There is no way that I would be able to get up and leave here now, a couple of years ago maybe, but this land has become my home, these people my family and this is my life. _

_ Ding! _The elevator doors slid open and Gibbs did not see Ziva at first then looked down and sat down right next to her to be the father she never truly had. "Gibbs…I just do not know where to even begin without him. He is my partner! The only partner I have ever truly had. Him leaving is like ripping away part of my life, my NCIS life."

"Are you sure that is the only reason you are upset, Zivers? I have never seen you even close to this upset. You are one of the toughest people I have ever come to meet in my life and I was a U.S. Marine. I'm not sure that losing a partner and maybe not even forever would hurt you this much."

"What are you trying to say? That I have something else going on with Tony? Breaking your rules? Come on, Gibbs." _This was such a lie but I could never live knowing that Gibbs knows that I have had a thing for Tony for six years. I have never told a ghost about that and never plan to, unless something happens. _

"I was not trying to say anything, Ziva, that is just the way you took it and you may want to think about why you took it that way." And with that Gibbs stood up and walked straight back to the bullpen, leaving his strongest team member alone in the elevator.

Ziva looked up to find the elevator doors opening to the floor with Abby's lab and it dawned on her that Abby has known Tony for even longer than she has, and she has to be hurting just like herself. Abby stifling back the sobs that automatically came to her mouth was the very first thing Ziva heard when she took a few steps. The sobbing stopped as she approached the door and Abby enveloped her in a giant bear hug. "Ziva…"

"I know, Abby, I know. I am hurting too."

"But he is not really gone is he? There is no way he is! I would be able to feel it! Tony will be up there if I was to walk into the bullpen right now, I just know it." Abby was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Ziva could just see it in her face, she knew the symptoms, she has been through it.

Ziva wrapped her arms around Abby tightly and cooed, "Abby, he really is gone, I was there when he left. The only one there, and he made it clear that he did not wished to be found. I am so sorry." _It is very eerie how easy it is to lie to someone when it will be in there best interest. I know that the look on Tony's face when he walked out was a pleading face for Ziva to come follow him and find him. To be with him. _ "Come on! We can go work to try to find him and bring him back to us. I know if anyone is able to do it, then it will be you, Abby. You just have to stay strong," Abby shot her a glare saying, _How the heck I am going to stay strong while Tony is missing? _"I know it is going to be hard, for me as well, but we will stick together and find him."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE MCGEE?"

"Well nothing at the particular moment, boss. Why?" If Gibbs had not been yelling, McGee would have known he was especially ticked off at the present moment just by the look on his face and his body stance. He did not even take the time to answer the question before he flew upstairs towards the director's office.

"Where is the director!?" Gibbs reamed the assistant, poor assistant, she has had a lot of foul moods from Gibbs.

"He h-he-e is o-uut, sir. I mean Agent Gibbs." Rule three was all that was coming to his mind right now, he stormed straight into the office and found Leon Vance sitting real peachy in his chair.

With the toothpick hanging out of his mouth, the director spoke, "Well hello there, Agent Gibbs. What can I do for you?"

"What can you do for me? WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR ME? I have a missing agent and all you can say is, "what can you do for me," Gibbs was angrier than almost ever before and he had a great reason to be.

"Ahh, yes, Agent Dinozzo split town. I heard. I don't know what you want me to do for you? He left willingly, not kidnapped, not involving a case." And with that Gibbs tore out of the office just as fast as he came in.


	4. For Fun

Hey readers! it's been forever! I have had a crazy busy life lately and a severe case of writer's block. I hope you like this, it is a little short but a good place to end the chapter. Reviews would be amazing! Thanks so much for reading!  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the NCIS characters or anything associated with it.

* * *

Sirens blaring, lights flashing. That is what Tony, no Matthew woke up to. _Already!? How the heck could Ziva have found me already? I have only been gone about a day! There is no way! _ He walked to the door, poked his head out into the open to see that the police cars were not for him but at a different motel room just down the way a bit. _Seriously! A freaking crime right by where I am staying. And this is going to kill me. Being a federal agent, yet not being able to help and investigate what is going on because I am on the run. Fantastic. Just fantastic. _

Ducking back into his room, Tony made a game plan for the rest of the day:

Coffee. Period.

Get some food

Get new clothes

Get supplies

Finish trek to ski resort

Walking down the road after slipping out of his room, Tony searched for any decent place that serves coffee and maybe even some food. _Diner? Really? It is such a small town that all it has is a diner? Just my luck. Everyone will recognize an outsider. Whatever, I need coffee, I will live through it. _

"Hey! You do not live here, do ya?" That was the first thing Tony heard opening the door. _Wow that happened a lot faster than I thought it would. _

"Uhhh no, I do not. Just passing through on my way to a ski resort. Can I get some coffee and a burger and fries?"

"Sure! I'll whip that up real fast," The owner and chef walked back to the kitchen and Tony thought he was off the hook. He did not get that lucky. "So where are you coming from?"

"D.C." _Tony hoped he was safe with the truth…_

"That's quite a ways away from here. Why did you choose out here instead of up north?"

"I just needed to get away for a little while. Life is messing with me lately."

"Our little town is great for that. But only for a little while, after that it becomes too cozy and it may feel like you are back home. Just be aware of that."

"I'm hitting the road in just a couple hours or less. Ready to hit the slopes."

"Here is your food and coffee. You staying or going to eat?"

"I guess I will stay," Tony started to actually feel at ease. The small town feel reminded him of the community of the Navy Yard.

* * *

A meal and several cups of coffee later, Tony was finally ready to leave the diner. But for the first time since he left the city he considered going back right that second. The town made him think back to all the memories that Navy Yard has brought him and it made him quite homesick_. If I go back now, they will accept me with open arms. But I will most likely have to through a series of psych evaluations before I can get back into the field again. Not what I want to go back to at all. No way. I need more time. Time to relax and not think about home and what is happening there. _

He headed back onto the road for just a couple of more hours of driving. The ski resort he thought about going to was on the far side of the state of Colorado. Driving makes him sick. _Well at least it's not Gibbs driving. I would be hurling right now. Or I would already be where I was going. That man is a crazy driver. Crazy driver. Ziva. Shake it off, Tony. You can do this. Just keep driving. _

Driving down the road, another sports car pulled right up next to Tony at the stop light and revved its engine. He took that as a challenge to race. _This trip is for fun, right? _The light turned green. The cars flew. Tony is howling with the wind flowing through his hair, the sound of the engine filling his ears. They were in the middle of a small suburban town, no other cars pass them; the two men continue to race for over two minutes, until they saw something huge coming straight at them…


	5. For Love

_Sorry for the long wait readers! I had a serious case of writers block for weeks now. Here is a chapter longer than the others of mine! Read and Review please!_

* * *

As she was sitting there racking her brain for possibilities of where her best friend, partner, and lover could have gone, Ziva heard doors starting to slam. She looked up to see Gibbs tearing out of the director's office, down through the bullpen, and onto the elevator for Abby's lab. "Abs, please tell me you have something." This is one of the very few times that Gibbs doesn't have to scream to tell Abby to turn her music down. She is in way too much sadness to have it blasting in the lab right now.

"I have decided to enlist the help of Eric Beale and Nell Jones over at the NCIS Office of Special Projects in Los Angeles. I know that they will keep what they are working on to themselves and the equipment over there is way more advanced than here."

"Alright, have THEY found anything on Dinozzo?" _He is getting a huge head slap when I fight him and get him back here. _

"Using facial recognition software, Eric and Nell managed to track Tony to a car rental place, but lost him there. They are working on finding him leaving the rental as we speak. Tony is pretty sneaky, but Nell and Eric are the best in the world. If anyone can find him, they can"

"What are you doing right now, Abs?"

"Watching for a call from LA and handing you the address to the car rental. Find him, Gibbs."

"Good job, Abs." And with that he hands her to CafPow! he had been hiding behind his back, kissed her on the cheek and walked out towards the elevator.

* * *

"Zivers, McGee. Tony rented a car from here. Go check it out. You know what to do."

"Got it boss." McGee and Ziva zipped out of the office, hoping to find a clue to where their teammate might have been going.

"McGee, I am going to drive," Ziva wanted to get there as fast as possible.

"Oh, no you are not. I would like to live once we find Tony. And you are way too shaken up to drive."

"I will be perfectly fine, Tim. He is my partner. Nothing else. I will be fine. Fine to drive. Fine to move on. _Maybe… I hate lying to my friends. And McGee is like family… I am a human lie detector. Which of course means I can lie among the best in the world as well. The only person that knows when I am lying has turned out to be Gibbs. My lies have begun to falter. Only those about Tony though… Gibbs knows that there is something more between Tony and me. How can I keep living my life in a lie? It is going to be the end of me one day. _

"Earth to Ziva!" McGee snapped in Ziva's face. "You've been sitting in the seat for five minutes now without moving. I really think I should drive." Knowing she was defeated, which never happens, Ziva tossed the keys to Tim and got up to sit in the passenger's side. "Thank you. I know how hard this is on you. It's hard on me too. I've already lost one team member so I already know how to handle it. It does not make it any easier though."

"Just drive, McGee. We need to find him." McGee drove the NCIS car out of the lot and onto the road. He was driving fast. Not as fast as Ziva or Gibbs, but still, very fast. He turned on the radio…an awkward silence began. He turned it off. That made it just as bad. _I have to ask her. I have to know. There is obviously something between her and Tony and has been ever since she joined the team. I get that Rule 12 is in the way, but there has to be a way around it. Those two are perfect for each other. Not obviously perfect, but once I got to know Ziva it became very clear. Maybe if I talk to Ziva about Tony then she will help me with my situation with Abby…_

"Ziva?"

"Yes, Tim?"

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"We have a very long drive so I do not see why not."

"Yesterday was the first time I have ever seen you seriously cry. And it was over Tony. I've seen the way that you two look at each other. You have looked at each other like that ever since you joined our team." Ziva shot a warning glare at McGee telling him to stop. "Please hear me out. Ziva, I know you say he is your partner and that's it, and always will be it. But there's something more to it isn't there?"

"I really do not want to have this conversation, Tim."

"Ziv…" Tim gave her a pleading look, it asked her to give him somewhat of an answer. She complied.

"Alright. Fine. But remember, I know forms of torture and death that even the highest of federal agents do not know. So if you tell a single soul about this, even Abby, you will not live to regret it." He looked at her. His face white as a ghost and he nodded, so Ziva continued. "I have never admitted this to anyone, barely even myself, but yes. There is definitely something more between DiNozzo and me. Ever since that first moment I met him. I knew there was something different. Have you ever heard about the first time I spoke to him?" Tim shook his head and Ziva proceeded with the story. "I walked in and heard what sounded like phone sex to me. He looked up and saw me. Barely managing to speak he says "I was just…" and I replied "Having phone sex?""

"Tony…was having phone sex?" McGee interrupted and looked astonished.

"Well no. I thought he was. At first he gave me some line about playing charades with his buddies on Friday nights and that they were coming up with ideas for that week. Then he finally admitted that he was remembering your old teammate, Kate, naked. I will just say that Tony and I started off our friendship on a very weird key."

"Note, Ziva, Note." Tim laughed at yet another Zivaism. "I can't believe that is how you two first met. You would never know by the way you interact. Anyway, are you planning on doing anything about you and Tony? Or are you going to wait for him to make a move? Do you even want anything to happen?"

"I could ask you the very same question. But, I will answer before we get into that. First off, we have the issue of Rule 12 to deal with for all of us. I do not plan on doing anything about us, at the moment anyway. I have no idea what will happen when we find him. And we WILL find him. I want to at least sit down and talk to T about it. And yes I realize I just called DiNozzo, T. I do not want anything real huge regarding commitment right now, but I want to know where we stand. We are both NCIS agents. Having a family is very rare for even one agent, but with both of us? I do not know if it would work. I really do not know anything at this point…"

_I never thought I would open up to anyone like that. I mean I just admitted that I have loved Tony for years now. I really have no idea what I am going to do or feel once we find Tony. And what was up with me calling him T? I kind of like it thought…I mean sometimes he does call me Zi…_

"Hey, Ziva, it looks like we finally made it." After the hours and hours of driving, they were finally there. Finally one step closer to Tony.

* * *

_I have ideas for the next couple of chapters so those should be up quickly. Reviews would be loved! and I am thinking about starting a story about Nell and Eric from NCIS:LA so PM me if you would be interested in that. _


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